This is the title to my web-site on the information superhighway.
The name is Qwarq

Everyone knows the site, right? Did you know there are an absurd amount of blingees about Mew Mew Power/Tokyo Mew Mew? There are. And some of them are incredible. I may have even contributed more than my share. Mew Mew Blingees is a twitter bot that posts a Mew Mew related blingee every hour. I didn't realize how much people loved the series when I started. Lots of people have very strong nostalgia for the show and people seem to like the ridiculous blingees, so it's grown far more popular than I expected.

After seeing Kuvo's chat bot, Kuvosabot, tell us about afforable boners for the 50th time, I figured I'd look up how it was made. The answer: Markov Chains. I made a simple Markov Chain class in C++ just to see how it's implemented. I finished that and sat on it for a few months until Vicas had an idea for a bot that automatically generates reviews for games. 1 + 1 = 2 and Markov Reviews was born.

Markov Reviews has two parts: a twitter bot and a web site. The twitter bot is where new reviews can be requested. It periodically checks its mentions to see if anyone has asked for a review. If there is a request, the name of that game is searched for on metacritic. If there's enough user reviews on metacritic, the bot scrapes as many as it can find and crams them into a Markov Chain. Using this loaded chain, it generates a number of sentences, glues them together into paragraphs and saves it as a text file.

The other part, the web site is quite a bit simpler. All it does is look through the directory where the bot places its text files and displays links to view them (plus a fancy search function, of course).

The bot is currently disabled. I don't know when it'll be back up.

Markov Reviews

Congratulations on being hired by Watmos Technologies Inc., a world leader biochemical engineering and design. As a software analyst, you will be assisting the software engineering team with the highly advanced automated laboratory management system that keeps our researchers safe when working with dangerous substances. Here is your desk and your computer terminal. Your supervisor will be contacting you shortly. We hope you enjoy your time at Watmos!

This is a small text adventure game I've tinkered with on and off for the past few months. It's pretty short - shouldn't take more than 20 minutes even if you read everything. This is barely a game though and it is bad. Do not play it.

Log In

Do you ever have trouble loading the TWITCH dot TV web site on the internet? No? Well your troubles are over! This utility will use a hidden backdoor in Twitch's system to ensure the site loads faster than you can say "hey fuk u this doesnt work Kappa". Loader

Qwarqbot is a discord bot with an ever expanding list of features. I first debuted it in the #CureAquaFunClub a few years ago and it's been a great help.

At the moment it's able to:

If you're interested, the current python source for Qwarqbot is available here. I'm not providing any support or documentation for it though.

This is a silly project I started as a senior in college. It's a gameboy emulator. There's a million of those floating around and you're better off using VBA, but I actually had a lot of fun writing this. The time I first got a recognizable output on the display is the most excited I've ever been about programming. It has a couple problems still. The audio is complete shit and there's a few games that don't emulate well (garbled sprites in Pokemon for example).

Instead of fixing those actually important things, I added a bunch of TASing tools (that's Tool Assisted Speedruning, for you non-speedrun-savvy plebeians) like memory viewing, disassembly viewing, rewinding, save states, input recording and playback and a full debugger with stepping, conditional breakpoints, register watch and stack watch.

If for some reason you want to try it, the download link is here. This is a debug build and is probably very unstable.
Have you ever seen one of the idle clicker games and thought to yourself "gee golly willikers, this fancy big-gaming thing is too complicated for me"? If so, you're probably an idiot, and so my new game, "Super Number Increaser Delux" should be right up your alley! Click the buttons to make your number go higher! Click click click!

Play Super Number Increaser Delux now for FREE!!! (requires the Unity web player. no chrome users allowed)
When I was in college (for Computer Science), one of the professors asked me to help him do some "research" and write a book about interfacing with various devices with LabVIEW. If you don't know what LabVIEW is, that's good, because it's an awful programming environment.

Anyway, I graduated with the book still unfinished with no desire to finish it. Mostly because it was really shitty and because the professor who had gotten me to write it had contributed LITERALLY NOTHING. So what the hell, I might as well put it up here.

Practical Data Acquisition and Control Programming with LabVIEW
One weekend when I couldn't work on any of my other projects, I decided to make something stupid and made Thunder Snail based on the Undertale minigame with the same name. It's really simple and stupid. It uses the Unity web player, meaning it probably won't work with Chrome.

Thunder Snail
Your father has been missing for three months. His plane crashed and he's presumed dead, but something doesn't add up. Last week you found an odd, old computer in your father's storage unit. It looks like it belonged to his employer and had seen heavy use. Maybe it can shed some light on what happened.
(also available on

A while ago I decided to teach myself how to read katakana, one of the japanese syllabaries (basically one of several alphabets). Katakana is interesting because it's mostly used for names and loan words, the latter of which are very often just english words written differently. Learning the basics is just a matter of memorizing about 50 symbols with a few of their variations, and which sound each of them represents.

To help me practice, I made a very simple tool that's basically just glorified flash cards. It actually helped a bit, so I went back and spruced it up a bit and am making it public in case anyone might want to use it.

Click here to go to the Katakana tutor

I'm very bad at drawing, but I enjoy it so I do it anyway. I used to have a janky custom-made art gallery thing here, but it was too annoying to maintain so I just made tumblr and pixiv accounts to post my dumb drawings. Click here (tumblr) or here (pixiv)

Fine art conservation is a fascinating field. If you don't believe me, I suggest looking at the Baumgartner Restoration youtube channel to see what I mean.

The process of cleaning paintings and removing their old, weathered varnish is a rather monotonous process, but it also has something of a meditative quality that can be rather relaxing and satisfying. I wanted to capture that feeling, which is how my game, Swab, came into being.

Swab has you gradually rubbing the grime off of several very normal paintings, in much the same way as with Baumgartner Restoration. A soundtrack of soothing classical music completes the experience. Help the professor clean his paintings and usher in a new age... of "cleanliness".

Swab is available to download for free

I'm a dweeb that usually goes by Qwarq on the internet..

I do a lot of programming, both at work and at home, so you're welcome to nerd out to me about how the C++ STL beat you up and stole your lunch money in middle school, or how you should only ever use the triple/double equals operator when using a weakly typed language.

Other than that, I play a lot of video games so I can wallow in self pity for not doing something productive.
A few video games I like are:

I also do a bit of game development sometimes (you should play my game, RyME). I have a mountain of half started game projects that'll probably never be finished, but I have fun with them anyway. Go check out my page

En grado seis, yo queria aprender espanol. Casi veinte anos ha pasado y todavia no pude. Dos anos pasado empezo mirando anime en espanol y ahora siento bien sobre hablando espanol.
In 6th grade I wanted to learn spanish. Almost twenty years passed and I still couldn't. Two years ago I started watching anime in spanish and now I feel much better about speaking spanish.

So yeah, I watch some anime sometimes. A few of my favorites are:

I enjoy drawing at times too. I'm very bad at it and I don't have the will to focus on improving, but I enjoy doodling dumb things. If you want a sample of some of what I've done, look on the "Shit I've Done" tab.

(In-)Frequently Asked Questions:

I do things on Web-Sites sometimes. You can follow the things I do on these sites:

Twitter Mastodon YouTube Patreon Twitch Medium Tumblr

Some other platforms where I don't necessarily do stuff, as much as exist and can be talked to with:
Something Awful ForumsQwarq
Nintendo 3DS1950-8096-7418
Nintendo SwitchSW-3347-9751-1024
Nintendo NetworkQwarq play my mario maker levels (mmaker id: G72-NG0-PGF)
Feel free to send me a friend request.

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